Go ahead, embrace the cliché. Be the cliché. You’ve got your reasons- million dollar houses being pitched as your dream home and/or a teardown, $7 to drive across a bridge, you’re tired of pumping your own gas, the unbearable relentlessness of sunshine, the Sepulveda Pass- all good ones! I’m here to help by sharing my own experiences as a California expat now living in the Portland Metro. We’ll be talking about all the pros and cons of making the big move and what you’ll experience when you get here. Along the way I’ll share some of the interesting choices I encounter in my real estate career. Come on in, the river water’s cold!
First off, let’s take some totally real questions from the totally real mailbag to confirm or debunk some common things you’ve probably heard about living here:
Q: Do Oregonians really hate Californians? Will they vandalize my car if it has California plates?
A: No, they don’t really hate Californians. Or they won’t say it to your face, one or the other. Assume they’re vandalizing your car for other reasons.
Q: Does it really rain all the time?
A: It rains frequently, like it does in Hawaii. That’s roughly where the comparison ends.
Q: Is there sales tax in Oregon?
A: Nope! If something costs $19.99 and you pay with a twenty, they owe you a penny. Also, there’s no state income tax in Washington, so if you hate paying taxes like a Trump you could live in Washington and do your shopping and entertaining in Oregon, perhaps here. However, in this plan you’re likely living in Vancouver WA, and if that’s your plan you might as well just stay in Bakersfield.
Q (from a reader in Orange County): Why do commies burn Portland to the ground every night? Why do they hate America?
A: It’s complicated. If you ask them it’s because of the fascists, including the police and the mayor (they REALLY don’t like the mayor here) and also they didn’t start it the Proud Boys started it, if you ask the police it’s because people just get all overreacty when they murder black people, if you ask the mayor you won’t hear the answer because he’ll be pepper-spraying you at that moment, and if you ask any Republican elected official who doesn’t live here it’s because of Hillary or Critical Race Theory or Cancel Culture or whatever else is dribbling out of their face holes right now to distract you from their utter inability to lead in any meaningful way. But also, none of it is really true, except for the parts that are. And do they hate America? Well sort of. Don’t we all sometimes? Sometimes I even hate alcohol, despite how awesome it is. Like I said, it’s complicated.
Q: Speaking of fires, do they think you’ll light yourself on fire if you pump your own gas?
A: ACTUALLY, the real reason you can’t pump your own gas in Oregon is to protect the jobs of those gas pumpers. They are specially trained in not setting themselves on fire.
Q: Why are there so, so many Subarus?
A: Going to have to save that one for another post, after I figure it out.
Glad to have you here, settle in! We’ve got a lot to talk about.
Dude, what’s wrong with Subarus? You can’t have too many. They’re hella cool. Sure beats the Tesla invasion in CA, like locusts.
Loved it. Answered all of my questions!
Love this keep writing. My brother lives in Portland. Moved from Sacramento over 16 years ago and loves.
I am so in. I want to share in your experience, be warmed by 5he glow of your beautiful family and most of all laugh my ass off at your new endeavors successful or otherwise! 😘😘